A “unicorn” in dating terms refers to a single woman who is open to forming a relationship with an established couple. The term “unicorn” is used because these individuals are rare and highly sought after in non-monogamous and polyamorous communities. Couples looking to explore this dynamic often struggle to find the right person who shares their desires, boundaries, and level of commitment.
Finding a unicorn requires patience, honesty, and a respectful approach. Whether you’re looking for a one-time experience or a long-term connection, the key is to create a welcoming and inclusive space where the unicorn feels valued. This guide will help you understand where to meet unicorns, how to approach them respectfully, and how to build a successful relationship based on trust and communication.
Where to Meet Unicorns (Online & Offline)
Finding a unicorn starts with knowing where to look. There are several online platforms and offline spaces where open-minded individuals explore non-traditional relationships.
Online Platforms to Find a Unicorn
- Dating Sites for Non-Monogamous Relationships – Websites like Bicupid, Feeld, and OkCupid allow couples to search for open-minded singles who are interested in joining a couple. These platforms provide filters that help users connect based on relationship preferences.
- Social Media & Online Communities – Facebook groups, Reddit forums (such as r/polyamory or r/UnicornHunters), and Discord servers offer discussion spaces where couples can connect with potential unicorns. Engaging in these communities allows you to build relationships naturally.
- Lifestyle & Swinger Websites – Platforms like Kasidie, SwingLifestyle, and FetLife cater to people interested in alternative relationships. While these are often associated with the swinging lifestyle, many users are also open to long-term triad relationships.
Offline Locations to Meet Unicorns
- Polyamory & LGBTQ+ Events – Attending meetups or community gatherings for polyamorous individuals or LGBTQ+ groups can be a great way to connect with open-minded people.
- Swinger Clubs & Lifestyle Parties – Some unicorns explore relationships through these social gatherings, though it’s essential to approach these spaces with respect and clear intentions.
- Alternative & Kink-Friendly Coffee Shops or Bars – Some cities have spaces where polyamorous or non-monogamous individuals naturally gather. Attending events or themed nights can provide networking opportunities.
Creating an Attractive Dating Profile as a Couple
Your dating profile is often the first impression a potential unicorn will have of you. To increase your chances of attracting the right person, you need to make your profile engaging, honest, and inviting.
Key Elements of an Effective Profile
- Be Transparent About Your Relationship – Clearly state that you’re a couple looking for a unicorn. Share a little about your dynamic and what kind of connection you’re seeking.
- Use High-Quality Photos – Post recent and natural photos that showcase both partners together. Avoid overly sexualized images, as they can make a unicorn feel objectified.
- Highlight Your Interests & Values – Unicorns are more likely to be interested in couples who share similar lifestyles and values. Mention your hobbies, beliefs, and relationship philosophy.
- Be Clear About Boundaries & Expectations – Whether you’re seeking a casual encounter or a more emotional connection, make sure your profile reflects your intentions.
What to Avoid in Your Profile
- Overly Sexual Language – While attraction is a factor, unicorns are not just there to fulfill fantasies. Treat them as individuals, not as objects.
- Focusing Only on the Woman’s Role – Make sure your profile is balanced and doesn’t treat the unicorn as an outsider.
- Demanding or Restrictive Conditions – Avoid rigid rules that make the relationship feel transactional. Flexibility and openness are key.
How to Approach Unicorns Respectfully
Once you’ve connected with a potential unicorn, your approach plays a crucial role in whether the relationship will develop positively. Respect is the foundation of any successful unicorn relationship.
Dos & Don’ts When Approaching a Unicorn
✅ Do: Start with Friendly Conversation – Get to know them as a person first. Find out about their interests, lifestyle, and boundaries.
✅ Do: Offer Equal Attention – Make sure both partners engage in the conversation. A unicorn should feel included by both members of the couple.
✅ Do: Be Patient & Respectful – Finding the right unicorn takes time. Rushing the process can make someone feel pressured or uncomfortable.
❌ Don’t: Treat the Unicorn as a Fantasy Object – If the unicorn feels like they’re just there to satisfy a fantasy, they’re likely to walk away.
❌ Don’t: Assume They Have No Needs or Boundaries – Unicorns have their own expectations, and these should be valued equally to those of the couple.
❌ Don’t: Pressure Them Into Commitment – Give them the space to make decisions at their own pace.
Red Flags to Watch Out for When Looking for a Unicorn
Not every connection will be the right fit. Here are some red flags that may indicate potential issues:
🚩 Lack of Clear Communication – If someone avoids discussing boundaries or expectations, it may lead to misunderstandings later.
🚩 Jealousy or Insecurity – If one member of the couple shows signs of jealousy before the relationship even starts, this could lead to problems down the road.
🚩 Disrespect for Boundaries – If a potential unicorn disregards the couple’s rules or vice versa, this can be a major issue.
🚩 Unrealistic Expectations – Some couples assume unicorns should be emotionally detached, while others expect them to become fully involved. Make sure everyone is on the same page.
Tips for Building Trust and Rapport Before Dating
Before making any commitments, it’s essential to build trust between all parties involved. Here’s how to create a solid foundation for a successful unicorn relationship:
- Have Open & Honest Conversations – Ensure that all three individuals can openly discuss their feelings, boundaries, and concerns. Transparency is key.
- Establish a Friendship First – Take time to develop an emotional connection before pursuing anything physical. A strong friendship will create a more fulfilling relationship.
- Set Healthy Boundaries – Define what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Discuss things like exclusivity, time commitments, and emotional involvement.
- Communicate Regularly – Keep communication open and check in with each other often. This helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures that everyone remains comfortable.
- Be Flexible & Adaptable – Not every unicorn relationship will look the same. Being willing to adapt to different needs and dynamics will help create a lasting connection.
Finding a unicorn for your relationship takes time, effort, and a respectful approach. By focusing on genuine connections, maintaining open communication, and ensuring mutual consent, you can create a fulfilling and harmonious dynamic. Whether you meet a unicorn online or offline, always prioritize trust, honesty, and inclusivity.
If you’re ready to explore unicorn dating, start by joining the right communities, crafting an authentic profile, and approaching potential partners with kindness and respect. A successful unicorn relationship isn’t just about fulfilling fantasies—it’s about creating a meaningful connection where all three individuals feel valued and appreciated.